Son of "Jokes": the Sequel

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Son of "Jokes": the Sequel

New postby Bill » Fri Jun 29, 2007 7:21 pm

"Jokes" broke. So starting a new thread.

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New postby Bill » Fri Jun 29, 2007 7:22 pm

Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway off ramp.

Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a
lot of money to spend.

Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.

Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every
day.

Jose says, "Look at your sign. It reads: I have no work, a wife
& 6 kids to support"

Carlos looks at Jose's sign.


It reads:

"I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico"

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New postby Jeff » Fri Jun 29, 2007 10:34 pm

Sssooo Wrong, it's right.
:roflmao:
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New postby Jeff » Sun Jul 01, 2007 4:26 pm

*DTT!


:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:






*Read "OPUS" today to get an explanation.
snort chuckle giggle
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New postby Bud » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:05 pm

JeffHughes wrote:*DTT!

*Read "OPUS" today to get an explanation.
snort chuckle giggle


Research which Metro-Phoenix newspapers carry Opus (assuming that's where you saw it), dig up a copy (since I don't subscribe), and find the Opus comic to figure out why you think yet another three-letter acronym is funny. Not a chance in hell.

:P
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-Richard Dawkins

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New postby Bill » Sun Jul 01, 2007 7:59 pm

Bud wrote:Research which Metro-Phoenix newspapers carry Opus (assuming that's where you saw it), dig up a copy (since I don't subscribe), and find the Opus comic to figure out why you think yet another three-letter acronym is funny. Not a chance in hell.

:P

Agreed. Sorry, Jeff. More effort than my lazy ass is willing to afford. Wife already tossed today's paper. I never read it.

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New postby Jeff » Sun Jul 01, 2007 10:10 pm

Your Loss.
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New postby MarkS » Mon Jul 02, 2007 3:21 am

Damn it I love Opus. I want DTT on my phone!! :lol:
Here's to drinks that are stiff and conversations that are not

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New postby Jeff » Mon Jul 02, 2007 5:20 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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New postby Bill » Sun Jul 08, 2007 7:46 pm

THE MAILMAN'S LAST DAY

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts.

At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blond in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison.

Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, " but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you." He said, " Screw him.......give him a dollar."

The blond then blushed and said, "The breakfast was my idea"

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New postby Bud » Sun Jul 08, 2007 10:46 pm

:rofl: I think I've heard this one recently.
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-Richard Dawkins

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New postby Jeff » Mon Jul 09, 2007 4:39 pm

LMAO!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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New postby MarkS » Tue Jul 10, 2007 5:13 am

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and
froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, Clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn
you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed . "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"
"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."
Here's to drinks that are stiff and conversations that are not

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New postby Bud » Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:48 am

They had a Mexican Rottweiler? :?
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-Richard Dawkins

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New postby Curt » Tue Jul 10, 2007 9:34 am

Heathen.

hæðen.

Curt

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