And now for somethihng completely different - part Deux

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New postby Jeff » Sat Apr 14, 2007 7:23 pm

See, Enginneers just miss the beauty of the simple life.

Bill:
:rockin:

You are totally awesome!
Jeff
It's a great day to be with my wife,
my friends and alive on my planet!

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New postby Bud » Sat Apr 14, 2007 8:28 pm

Image

:shock: Woah! Sexy! :wink:


:finger:
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-Richard Dawkins

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New postby Robert » Sat Apr 14, 2007 10:50 pm

I like this:

Image

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New postby Bud » Sun Apr 15, 2007 1:24 am

:roflmao:

OK, we're nerds.
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-Richard Dawkins

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New postby MarkS » Sun Apr 15, 2007 4:40 am

Bud wrote::roflmao:

OK, we're nerds.


You mean there was any doubt? :roll:
Here's to drinks that are stiff and conversations that are not

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New postby Bud » Sun Apr 15, 2007 12:41 pm

MarkS wrote:
Bud wrote::roflmao:

OK, we're nerds.


You mean there was any doubt? :roll:


Well, we had a little fantasy that we weren't.
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-Richard Dawkins

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New postby MarkS » Tue Apr 17, 2007 7:50 pm

LIVING WILL

I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors/hospitals interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
______a Martini ______a Margarita ______ a Scotch and soda ______a Bloody Mary ______a Gin and Tonic _______a Glass of Chardonnay ______a Steak ______Lobster or crab legs ______The remote control ______a bowl of ice cream ______The sports page ______Chocolate or ______Sex

It should be presumed that I won't ever get any better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. At this point, it is time to call the New Orleans Jazz Funeral Band to come do their thing at my funeral, and ask all of my friends to raise their glasses to toast the good times we have had.
Signature: ___________________________ Date: ___________________________

NOTE: I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place PLEASE pass it on!
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New postby Bud » Tue Apr 17, 2007 10:09 pm

MarkS wrote:I also hear that in Ireland they have a Nursing Home with a Pub. The patients are happier and they have a lot more visitors. Some of them don't even need embalming when their time comes. If anyone knows the name of this happy place PLEASE pass it on!


:roflmao:
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-Richard Dawkins

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New postby Jeff » Sat Apr 21, 2007 6:13 pm

So, Bud, What's the new Avitar about?
He grins knowingly.
Jeff
It's a great day to be with my wife,
my friends and alive on my planet!

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New postby Bud » Sun Apr 22, 2007 12:45 am

JeffHughes wrote:So, Bud, What's the new Avitar about?


I'm not telling! :P
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-Richard Dawkins

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New postby MarkS » Mon Apr 23, 2007 7:11 pm

Today is the 25th anniversery of the Conch Republic seceding from the Union. Creating the phrase...

"We Seceded Where Others Failed".

:P
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Thanks to Mr. Roth for this one

New postby Bud » Thu May 03, 2007 10:44 pm

Subject: Benefits of Booze

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia Coli (E.Coli) bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1kilo of Poop.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine, rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop
Booze = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink booze & talk stupid, than to drink water & be full of shit. There's no need to thank me for this valuable information; I'm doing it as a public service.
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-Richard Dawkins

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New postby Bud » Thu May 03, 2007 10:50 pm

Image
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity.
-Richard Dawkins

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New postby MarkS » Fri May 04, 2007 2:35 am

:roflmao:
Here's to drinks that are stiff and conversations that are not

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New postby MarkS » Fri May 04, 2007 8:45 am

TO: GOD

FROM: THE DOG



Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?



Dear God: When we go to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, cougar, mustang, colt, stingray and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride!! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.

3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel.' Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello."

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from the outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, my last question...


Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?
Here's to drinks that are stiff and conversations that are not

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